Dream Interview of Wade Beauchamp: Finalist in The Best Indie Books of 2013 Awards

[It’s that time of the year again when The New Kindle Book Review is running its Best Indie Books of the Year awards. Top five finalists for the 2013 awards in various genres were announced September 1, 2013. In keeping with our tradition established last year in the first year of the awards, we have asked each of the finalists who care to participate to provide us two pieces: a dream interview and a dream review. Although these will appear under my byline and Caleb Pirtle’s, the posts are the work of the finalist authors. We hope you enjoy them and use them as an introduction to the works of these fine writers.-SW]

Now let’s hear from Wade Beauchamp, author of Scream If You Want To go Faster, a finalist in the short fiction genre.

scream if you want to go faster Wade Beauchamp



An Interview with Wade Beauchamp, author of “Scream If You Wanna Go Faster”

by The Devil

Recently, whilst piloting a half-century old V8 Ford down the moonlit serpentine back roads of North Carolina, author Wade Beauchamp wrapped hisself around a telephone pole. Now, he didn’t die. Not all the way, anyhow. It took a couple of pints of B-positive, some bailing wire and a set of jumper cables, but the EMTs brought the old boy back. There were a few minutes there, though, where Wade flat-lined. And in those few minutes, I did what any good Southerner would do when company’s coming over: I brewed up some good sweet tea, I whooped up some Southern hospitality, and we set a spell and talked about his new book, “Scream If You Wanna Go Faster”.


The Devil: Welcome to Hell, Wade. We’ve been expecting you.

Wade Beauchamp: Well, shit.

TD: Yes, you’re somewhat of an early arrival. I’ll be happy to check with housekeeping and see if your room’s available.

WB: I, uh… thanks?

TD: So, we’re all great fans of your book here. My personal copy has been passed around more than the only hooker at a Shriner’s Convention, if you know what I mean. I think Jesse Helms has it right now.

WB: I’m flattered, I think.

TD: In fact, we’ve got more than one guest who found their way down here because of your book.

WB: Now we’re talking.

TD: First things first, who do those legs on the cover belong to?

WB: My wife was the model.

TD: Hubba, hubba.

WB: Tell me about it. More than one character in the book was based on her.

TD: Ah, those wonderful characters.

WB: Thanks, Scratch. I appreciate that.

TD: Please don’t call me that.

WB: Sorry.

TB: It’s okay. So, Wade, how did this book get its genesis? Pardon my French.

WB: Well, a few years ago I wrote what would become the first story in this collection, “Triggers.” It’s a story about a Gold Star mother whose son isn’t coming home from Vietnam.

TD: Ah, yes.

Wade Beauchamp
Wade Beauchamp


WB: I wrote about her daily struggle to ignore her son’s abandoned car parked in the shed out back. A while later I went back and wrote a story from the son’s perspective, about how his thoughts of that same car and his best girl kept him going when things got really bad over there.

TD: And things certainly got bad over there.

WB: Later, I wrote “Nowhere Fast,” a story that tried to capture the feelings of freedom and youth and possibility I felt cruising the Strip with my brother and best friend every Friday and Saturday night when we were in high school.

TD: I remember it well.

WB: I’m sure you do. Anyhow, I realized that all of these stories had a common thread of am automobile, and I began to wonder about how many lives one particular car could affect from assembly line to junkyard. I went back and wrote about the man who bolted on the bumpers, the salesman who sold it to its first owner, the woman who chased down her independence in it, the mechanic who busted his knuckles on it, the father and son who restored it. Before long I had a pretty complete portrait of the life of an automobile as seen through its drivers and passengers.

TD: I see. But why short stories?

WB: I’ve always been a fan of short stories. To me, they’re like songs on an album. I’ve always been more inspired and influenced by songwriters than novelists: Bruce Springsteen, Tom Petty, Jason Isbell, and Patterson Hood and Mike Cooley from Drive-By Truckers are all huge influences on the way I try to tell stories. I love the idea of the pieces of a puzzle coming together to tell a bigger story, like on my favorite records.

TD: I’m sure they’ll all be impressed to have had their praises sung in Hades.

WB: Yeah, well, I-

TD: Any advice for aspiring writers?

WB: This is usually where the author says, “Write every single day,” but I’ve never been able to do that. My only advice would be to write what you love. I love cars and the road and rock ’n’ roll and the South, so that’s what I wrote about.

TD: All favorites of mine, as well. Speaking of, give me a few reasons why someone should not read “Scream If You Wanna Go Faster”. You know how I am about temptation and whatnot.

WB: Let’s see. There are a bunch. First and foremost, I would say do not read “Scream If You Wanna Go Faster” if you think rock ‘n’ roll is the Devil’s music. One character in particular makes an impassioned case for the restorative powers of rock ‘n’ roll, a view which aligns closely with my own.

TD: Indeed. If, like noted despots Manuel Noriega and Jerry Falwell, you are without the soul for getting down, you should skip this book.

WB: Exactly. Also, do not read “Scream If You Wanna Go Faster” if you’re one of those pinko Commie bastards who cry every time an animal gets perished. Because make no mistake – spoiler alert – a possum gets straight-up run the hell over in this book. I mean like, bad.

TD: God, I hate Commies. Great scene, by the way.

WB: Thanks. And finally, I’d say do not read “Scream If You Wanna Go Faster” if you are opposed to equal rights for ebooks. The book is most certainly available as a traditional paperback and I will happily sell you one all day long. However, said paperback coexists peacefully with the ebook version. If this vision of literary harmony offends your antiquated and bigoted sensibilities, please consider a different author.

TD: Preach it, brother. Lord knows we are overstocked on bigots down here as is. Oh, look, I think we’ve got your accomodations all set up in the Lust Wing!

WB: Oh, jeez, look at the time. God? It’s me, Wade. A little help here? I promise to cut down on my coveting and I promise to never make another graven image if you get me out of here! I promise I’ll even stop looking at –


And just like that, my all-too-brief visit with Mr. Beauchamp was over. Given the way he drives, I’m sure I’ll be seeing him again soon enough. Join me next time as I go on location with the Westboro Baptist Church. See you there!







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