P is for Professor Grafton's Punctuation Primer for Prima Donnas, a Review by A. Layse Wantoobe

Sue Grafton
Sue Grafton

 

 

 

 

 

It is my great pleasure to feature a review by renowned book blogger A. Laysy Wantoobe.  The timing of this guest review has nothing to do with the recent remarks of bestselling author Sue Grafton, which you can find at http://louisvilleky.com/2012/08/louisville-author-spotlight-welcomes-sue-grafton/ .

P is for Professor Grafton’s Punctuation Primer for Prima Donnas

A Review by A. Laysy Wantoobe

I never lernt much aboute gramar and speling in schule, so I relly lieked Prof. Grafton’s buke.

1 uh thu resons I dint no how to right good wuz becuz whin I wuz being laezy an attenting the ceminery in Loo-uh-vulle, I studied greak. The greaks wroat funnie. Stuff lieke inthebeginnigwasthewordandthewordwaswithgodandthewordwasgod. A coarse they dint right it in Amurican neither.  They yoused werds lieke logos, which relly cornfused me cuz I thot logos was them little thangs we yoused to built toy cabins like ol abe grew up in down the rivur from prof grafton’s howse.

Thin I lernt Hebrew.  Them buggers wroat liken this: NTHBGNNGGDCRTDTHHVNSNDTHRTH, ceptin’ theyze wroat it from rite to lef on thu paige and when I would turn the paige upside downwards, I grewe relly more cornfused.

After that, still being laezy mind u, I hauled meself to Hueco to go to the lawyer schule at Bailor. Them mean prfessers thereabouts teached me to right lieke this:  “Comes now the said Plaintiff, hereinafter called “Plaintiff,” and brings this his First Amended Original Petition, and adduces herein his allegations against said Defendant, hereinafter called “Defendant,” and would show the honorable Court as follows:”

That dint make much moore cents to me than greak, butt I lernt how to do it anyways.

So, when I became an Indie righter, I was totally cornfuseded.

Butt last nite whin I red Prof. Grafton’s buke, I finded a lot uh goode stuffe that has hepped me.

Nowe I no how to right The cat ate the rat 3 ways.  The firsten way is: The cat ate the rat (I alreedy new that frum graed schule, though).  Prof Grafton say sum fancy people right it liken this here: The cat was eaten by the rat. That’s whut she calt passive voice.  But the realy fancier peoples wud right it liken this here: “Eating the rat, the cat paused to consider the meaning of life, how the brown and yellow leaves of autumn reminded him of his upbringing in Cheshire, how when he masticated, he felt the primordial oneness with his feline progenitors, those curved tooth sabers of old who ate primitive humans as they sought to paint on the lichen-covered cave walls.”

Nowe I thinks I am redy to be a reel righter not jist a lazy wannabe.

Toonite I betcha I lurn a lott moore in chapter too.

I gives this here buke 5 stares.  Thannk u, Professer G.

, , , , , , ,

  • LMAO Brilliant! Entertaining! Now, send this to the hallowed halls of celebrity authors and have them STKTPTHRSSS

  • Leave you alone on the beach for a week and what marvelous mischief you get into.

  • I almost didn’t leave a comment, because I’m too freaking lazy. I know I’m lazy because Sue Grafton said so and she’s brilliant. It took brilliance to come up with the idea of using the letters of the alphabet to title her novels. I mean why take the time and trouble to come up with a unique title for every book you write when you can take the easy way out and… Mmmm. Need I say more?

Related Posts