It might be harder than anyone had imagined.

More chapters from Where It Ended

A VG Serial: Where It Ended

Chapter 8

When I go hook up Polly at the end of this day, I feel gathered up like corn shocked in a field at harvest, rather than spilling all over like a sack with a hole in it. I don’ know when the change take place in me, but finally I no longer feel the need to call out fo’ my mama when somethun hard show up. Maybe it happen when she tole me about the light, maybe then, fo’ I do feel warm inside, but I tell ya, it be one glorious feeling. I don’ mean I already knows what to say or do. I don’. But I feel like I be in touch with somethun or someun that do. An that be good enough fo’ me.

Polly an I take the farm to market road at the edge of town. When I git where they ain’t be nobody around, the song I be holding inside me juss bust out.

 

Every time I feel the spirit

Movin’ in my heart I will pray

Every time I feel the spirit

Movin’ in my heart I will pray

 

I swear Polly like my singing, even though I ain’t gots me much of a voice. She juss like how I feel when I singing. It’s true ’cause she always stop shuffling along when I sing, an she pick up her feet like she trying to keep time. We both become young in our hearts, like two girls again.

This evening we get to Miss Katie’s real quick with my singing an Polly’s strutting. Some part of me keep saying inside me, “Why aren’t you scared, girl?” But I not, an it almost feel like a slap in God’s face to feel different. So I tell whoever be making those remarks to hush up an quit causing trouble. Then as I turn in the lane, I giggle a bit for I remember, as a child, seeing old ladies who talk to theyselves an how strange I thought that be. An here I be doing the same thing.

I can see off in the distance Miss Katie be setting on the porch swing moving back an forth. I know she scared to have me here, but I’m mighty glad she asked. Maybe now she can find a little peace in this life.

As I git down off my wagon an start walking toward the house, she not even look my way. Maybe this gonna be a little harder than I be imagining. But I juss keep walking an staying real quiet inside me. As I climb the stairs, she still don’ look my way, so I juss keep on. Since they not be any chair right across from where she setting, I drag one closer but not face on. She like a scared dog right now, the kind that if’n you look right in they eyes, they likely to bite you than if you juss stare into space. But since she invite me, it be her responsibility to start this conversation, so I juss set down, let myself fill with love, an wait.

The squeak of the swing be all we both hear for quite some time. Then she finally say somethun. “Thank you for coming, Miss Imogene.”

We sit through another long pause.

“Judd made me promise to talk with you. I don’t have a ghost of an idea of what to say. I felt a whole lot better when I was at the hospital, but when I got home here everything started crushing in on me again. I think if I were to sum up what feels like my biggest problem, I’d say I don’t give a God damn about anything, and worse, I’m not sure I care to.”

We both sit in that for a while.

Episodes of Where It Ended by Christina Carson will be published every Tuesday.

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